I found that my son hurting (biting, kicking, hitting, pulling hair, jumping on my car, breaking things, throwing things at me etc.) really built resentments towards him and I would then in turn hurt them with my words, frustrations. (Empty threats, instilling fear, saying hurtful things, spanking etc.) (While getting physical may work with some kids I quickly found out it doesn’t work with my son) He took it more as a deep hurt and I could see the resentment in his eyes. Some kids, it breaks their will, but not mine, was what I found out (NOW I KNOW, of a thing called Grace, and I’m learning that God gave it to me so I too can extend it to those that hurt me)
I also had to learn to trust God with my sons life. That helped me not worry so much about him when he did things that were scary for me. (Such as when he ran across two streets- a very busy intersection at that.) I also learned to trust God that my sons future, will be great! (Although our actions have consequences, I trust God’s grace and favor in our lives is greater and that He can swing things around because this battle was already paid for at the cross.)
I learned that God is not angry or mad at me for this stuff. HIS GRACE is big enough for my son and I.
My little warrior’s behavior got much much better. I knew what I was fighting was a spiritual battle because the look in his eyes and the voice he had switched on and off when these ‘events’ would happen. (It was EXTREEMLY hard for me to communicate this with others as they offered advice such as counseling, or prayer etc.) I knew it was a demon or something… so I decided to fight the demon through intercessory prayer at night. I prayed every time I picked him up(cleansing) and dropped him off (protection) and things got better.
Then (1 year later) 2 weeks ago.. Things started to get bad again. I don’t know what happened.. but i do know our H2H time slowed down, and I have not been praying as much at night. Just because things get good does not mean we should stop. (Kind of like weightless. (Healthy reasons) if we reach our target weight then start eating junk again we will go backwards. We have to maintain to stay healthy)
So Im back to maintaining and fighting for my son, knowing God won this battle at the cross already
I’ve been finding blogging is really helping me get my feelings out here and not out on my son as much. So THANK YOU for all who are reading and supporting me.
I’ve also been hearing lots of “You’re not the only one…” stories so to you: The enemy wants you to think God isn’t there for you… Just stay focused on Him and pray pray pray!